


You Left Me Living with a Lingering Soul

by AnonymousSpacePrince



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Closure, Love Confessions, M/M, Psychic Mediums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 01:05:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12421830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousSpacePrince/pseuds/AnonymousSpacePrince
Summary: "I'm sorry if this is weird, but my name's Claire and I'm a medium, er, which means I can communicate with the departed." Sirius raised his eyebrows. That certainly took a turn.Little more than a year after James and Lily died and left Harry to his godfather, Sirius goes out to be alone for a while and instead gets a much-desired message through a muggle stranger.





	You Left Me Living with a Lingering Soul

**Author's Note:**

> this is so not my usual theme, but i've been watching a ton of long island medium lately and it kept making me think of sirius meeting a medium after james' death so naturally i had to write this.
> 
> the title, along with the intro and outro excerpts, are from the song _paint_ by the paper kites. definitely go listen to that song.

_still there's a wound and i'm moving slow,_  
_though it don't show, though it don't show;_  
_i've got a hole where nothing grows,_  
_how little you know, how little you know._

* * *

    "Er, excuse me," said a soft, unsure female voice.

 _Oh, great_ , Sirius thought, looking up at the young, mousy-haired woman who had approached his table in the corner of the unbusy pub. He'd left Harry with Hagrid for the night so he could get some peace, even gone to a bloody muggle pub to avoid any witches or wizards that might try to strike up a conversation. The last thing he wanted was to be chatted up. "Can I help you?" Sirius asked, verging on polite even if he didn't quite manage it.

    "No, er, I think I might be able to help you, actually," the girl said with a gentle smile. Sirius was already thinking up how to turn her down without being an arsehole when she went on, "I'm sorry if this is weird, but my name's Claire and I'm a medium, er, which means I can communicate with the departed." Sirius raised his eyebrows. That certainly took a turn. "Somebody's coming through really strongly for you, see," Claire said. "It's a man, er, did you lose a friend?" She began to gesture with her hands as she spoke. "This is coming across to me as a friend but more, which I usually attribute to a brother from friendship rather than blood, but when I use the term brother, I'm getting a firm _no_."

    Sirius stared, unsure what he was feeling. "Uh, I lost my best mate," he said.

    "Okay, where does the _J_  name come in?" Claire asked, looking intently at Sirius. "James, or-"

    Sirius' heart started to pound hard in his chest. "Yeah, his name was James," Sirius said. He felt shocked that this strange muggle woman was pulling all this out of thin air, and there was a strange warmth settling in his chest though his fingertips felt numb.

    "I'm getting a _P_  word, but I'm not sure... Paw pads? Something like that..."

    "Padfoot," Sirius supplied, disbelieving.

    "Yes!" Claire said. "Yes, he's telling me, 'Claire, call him Padfoot! Call him Padfoot, he'll know it's me'."

    Sirius laughed, his vision going somewhat blurry as tears came to his eyes. "Yeah, that was his nickname for me."

    Claire smiled. "Do you mind if I sit?"

    "Please," Sirius said, gesturing to the chair across from him.

    Claire sat down and laid her hands out on the tabletop. "Right, you weren't expecting the loss. This was a sudden death?"

    Sirius nodded.

    "Would I be right to use the word 'tragic'?"

    "Yeah," Sirius said. His hand was shaking where it rested on the table.

    "Okay, I'm seeing light that turns into darkness, which is my sign for an instantaneous death: one minute the person is alive, and the next they've passed," Claire said, her hands moving through the air as if swatting flies as she explained. They fell suddenly back to the tabletop. "Am I right to think this person was murdered?" She asked softly.

    Sirius nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

    "You have a fear that he suffered before he actually passed, is that correct?"

    "Yeah," Sirius said, a bit choked.

    "Okay. He says he wants you to know he didn't suffer. The death was immediate and painless. Just like falling asleep, is the way he puts it."

    "Oh," Sirius said, letting out a breath he'd been holding since the night James died. "Oh, good."

    Claire laughed suddenly and said, "he's very funny. He's joking with me. He said 'Claire, you better tell him not to go looking for trouble'," she chuckled again, "'tell him if he does something stupid and dies I'll kick his arse when he gets here.'"

    Sirius dropped his head and laughed. "Sounds about right."

    "His death has been a very hard thing to come to terms with, hasn't it?"

    Sirius nodded, wiping away the few tears that fell only to have new ones replace them. "You don't know the half of it."

    Claire looked sympathetic. "He wants you to know that it isn't your fault. Nothing would've changed what happened, do you understand that?"

    Sirius nodded, trying hard to get a handle on his emotions. His hands shook badly as he wiped the tears away from his face again.

    "He says you have to stop blaming yourself, because it was as much his decision as yours, does that make sense?"

    "Yeah," Sirius said, voice shaky. He was still trying to wipe away still-coming tears with trembling hands.

    "Hm, this is interesting in the way it comes across," Claire said, looking blankly as her eyes flitted about. She focused back on Sirius and said, "do you have something that was named after him?"

    "His son," Sirius said at once, finally stopping the tears from coming. "Harry. His middle name is James; I'm his godfather."

    "Oh!" Claire said. "Oh, okay, that's it then. Okay, I think that explains the female energy I'm getting. She's connected to you both, but she's sort of hanging back. Would that be the son's mother?"

    "Yeah," Sirius said, nodding, "Lily."

    "Right, now, the way they come across, I see hands holding but not clasped, which to me signifies two people who are connected from life- like having a child together- but aren't together romantically. Does that make sense?"

    Sirius shook his head, suddenly confused. "No, they were married," he said.

    Claire huffed a laugh. "Okay, okay, James is rolling his eyes at me," she said. "He says, 'we can come back to that, just tell him I'm proud of him.' He's extremely thankful to you for taking care of Harry, and he wants you to know that he's proud of you for doing such a good job taking care of him even while you've been grieving."

    Sirius couldn't stop a few new tears from spilling down his cheeks at this.

    "He says he's happy that Harry's with you. He's extremely glad you insisted on taking him, because it's you he wanted Harry to be with, does that make sense?"

    Sirius nodded.

    "Now, the way this comes across is very important: he says 'don't just treat Harry as your own son, but know that he _is_ your son as much as he's mine and Lily's'."

    Sirius let out a grateful sort of laugh that sounded a bit like a sob.

    Claire sat still, staring into space for a moment. "He's showing me a bundle of sunflowers beside his grave."

    Sirius gasped. "No way! I put them there a few days after he died."

    "Okay, so, know that that's his way of validating that he was there with you and he heard what you said to him."

    Sirius' breath caught, his heart beating fast.

    "Oh, now this is interesting: the way this comes across is as a confession that couldn't have come about while he was still alive," Claire said. "You said something to him that you wouldn't have said while he was alive, is that correct?"

    "Yeah," Sirius said, locking his shaking hands together. "I told him that I love him. I- I've been in love with him since we were kids." He'd not said as much to anyone before or since, and it felt strange to admit to a stranger.

    "Oh, right," Claire said understandingly. "Okay, that makes perfect sense. So just know that his spirit was present and he heard you tell him that. And..." She smiled as she paused. "He says he loves you too."

    Sirius' eyes widened. Just then, he felt a chill run through him from head to toe, leaving goosebumps all over.

    "Did you just get the chills?" Claire asked.

    "Yeah," Sirius said, amazed that she knew that.

    "Okay," she said, smiling, "know that that was James: he just kissed you and then he looked at me and he said, 'tell him I'll always be here'."

    Sirius huffed a happy laugh as new tears made their way down his cheeks.

    "The female figure, Lily, she just stepped forward and she said she's not hurt, she's happy, and she's known for a long time that even though James' love for her was never insincere, you've always been his true love. She wants you to know that's the way it's supposed to be, and she's completely at peace with it."

    "Cheers, Lily," Sirius said, unable to help his watery smile.

    "Please know that James will be waiting for you when you pass over, and he'll be the first one to greet you in the afterlife," Claire said.

    Sirius didn't bother trying to stop the tears anymore. He felt immensely happy and relieved though still numb with disbelief.

    "When you feel like he's missing important things in your life or Harry's, know that he isn't, that he's right there with you, okay? He's always watching over you both and keeping you safe, and one day you'll all be reunited."

    Sirius nodded. "Thank you," he said. "I don't know how to thank you enough."

    Claire smiled. "Thank _you_  for giving me the privilege of relaying these messages for you. I hope it helped."

    "It did," Sirius said. "It really did."

    "I'm really glad," said Claire, still smiling. She stood and Sirius did as well so that he could hug her.

    After she left, Sirius sat back down, feeling immensely overwhelmed and bittersweet. He still missed James so badly his chest ached with it, but now he felt that James wasn't so far away. He felt like if he closed his eyes, James might just be sitting in the seat Claire had just vacated. The relief was stronger than anything, knowing that James heard him when he talked to him and that he watched over him and Harry. He knew now that even though James was gone from the earth, his spirit lived on and hadn't left them. They'd meet again in time.

* * *

 _maybe we'd marry and we'd work it out fine,_  
_in some other time, some other time;_  
_and we are happy when i'm walking that line,_  
_it's all in my mind, all in my mind._

**Author's Note:**

> seriously (siriusly), if you liked this, you have theresa caputo to thank for it. i mean, she inspired it, but i wrote it, so i suppose you can thank us both.
> 
> if i'm honest, i feel that this is a bit clumsily written, but it's the first time i've written anything of this theme so i suppose that's to be expected. please let me know if you think this is any good.


End file.
